Losing Body Parts -- Blind Guardian --> Epic

There's only one word to describe Blind Guardian:

EPIC

noting or pertaining to a long poetic composition, usually centered upon a hero,in which a series of great achievements or events is narrated in elevated style:

Homer'sIliad is an epic poem.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/epic?s=t

Blind Guardian is better than EPIC. They're FUN. 

Have you ever read anything written before 1200? All Epic poems, stories. Most of it is hard to get through, but so rewarding. In college, I read one text that went roughly like this: 

Massive war, battlefield covered with bodies, blood, gore. 

Only two warriors remain. 

They fight.

One says, "Oh, I recognize your voice. Is that you master?" 

The master says, "Yes, tis I but my eyes have been gouged out and I cannot see you, therefore I hit you blindly. Who art thou?" 

They are both still swinging at each other. Think: Holy Grail's Black Knight

Other one says, "Tis I, your humble servant, but I am a bloody stump of a man. My arms are gone. I am hitting you with my head and cannot make a wound on you, though you are bleeding profusely so perhaps I am wounding you. I am sorry Master." 

They continue fighting.

Master says, "Well then perhaps we ought to stop hitting each other." 

I read it when I was 18 yo, sitting in the university library laughing riotously while covering my mouth so I wouldn't get kicked out.

Ever since then I've loved epic poetic stories, especially the juxtaposition of grandeur and ridiculousness. 

Here's a fun juxtaposition very similar to the EPIC story above: 

The lyrics are TOO GOOD. 

...if I ever lose my legs, I won't moan, and I won't beg,
Yes if I ever lose my legs, Oh if... I won't have to walk no more.

...if I ever lose my hands, Oh if... I won't have to work no more.
And if I ever lose my eyes... I won't have to cry no more....

And if I ever lose my mouth, all my teeth, north and south,
Yes if I ever lose my mouth, Oh if... I won't have to talk...

And... silence.  "I won't have to talk..." Total beatdown silence. Go Cat Stevens.

It's the ultimate anti-depressant. It doesn't matter how bad it gets, I'm Alive (name of next song)

Next time someone says Metal is too dark, I'm going to show them the band photo of Blind Guardian: 

http://www.blind-guardian.com/band/

 Just looking at them makes me happy. See that? Smiles.

Reminds me of the Sedlec Ossuary in the Czech Republic. I went a while back on the recommendation of a friend (I was asked to speak at a technical conference in Brno so we were already there). Holy cow. Sedlec Ossuary took me by surprise. 

http://www.themadtraveleronline.com/photo-galleries/photo-gallery-the-bone-church-sedlec-ossuary/ 

Crazy fun story short: With bodies piling up from the Black Plague and so many other plagues, the church cemetary was overflowing. A half-blind monk (wish I could have met him!) made the best of a bad situation and turned the bodies into artwork. Artwork!

Walking through Sedlec Ossuary feels like all these people are dancing, combined in cool and beautiful shapes in one big body-mash of a dance. The ultimate metal mosh pit? All made by a half-blind monk. "If I ever lose my eyes..."

Blind Guardian. I love the music you're making. Beautiful.