Losing Body Parts -- Blind Guardian --> Epic

There's only one word to describe Blind Guardian:

EPIC

noting or pertaining to a long poetic composition, usually centered upon a hero,in which a series of great achievements or events is narrated in elevated style:
Homer'sIliad is an epic poem.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/epic?s=t


Blind Guardian is better than EPIC. They're FUN. 

Have you ever read anything written before 1200? All Epic poems, stories. Most of it is hard to get through, but so rewarding. In college, I read one text that went roughly like this: 

Massive war, battlefield covered with bodies, blood, gore. 

Only two warriors remain. 

They fight.

One says, "Oh, I recognize your voice. Is that you master?" 

The master says, "Yes, tis I but my eyes have been gouged out and I cannot see you, therefore I hit you blindly. Who art thou?" 

They are both still swinging at each other. Think: Holy Grail's Black Knight

Other one says, "Tis I, your humble servant, but I am a bloody stump of a man. My arms are gone. I am hitting you with my head and cannot make a wound on you, though you are bleeding profusely so perhaps I am wounding you. I am sorry Master." 

They continue fighting.

Master says, "Well then perhaps we ought to stop hitting each other." 

I read it when I was 18 yo, sitting in the university library laughing riotously while covering my mouth so I wouldn't get kicked out.

Ever since then I've loved epic poetic stories, especially the juxtaposition of grandeur and ridiculousness. 

Here's a fun juxtaposition very similar to the EPIC story above: 

The lyrics are TOO GOOD. 

...if I ever lose my legs, I won't moan, and I won't beg,
Yes if I ever lose my legs, Oh if... I won't have to walk no more.
...if I ever lose my hands, Oh if... I won't have to work no more.
And if I ever lose my eyes... I won't have to cry no more....

And if I ever lose my mouth, all my teeth, north and south,
Yes if I ever lose my mouth, Oh if... I won't have to talk...

And... silence.  "I won't have to talk..." Total beatdown silence. Go Cat Stevens.

It's the ultimate anti-depressant. It doesn't matter how bad it gets, I'm Alive (name of next song)


Next time someone says Metal is too dark, I'm going to show them the band photo of Blind Guardian: 


http://www.blind-guardian.com/band/
 Just looking at them makes me happy. See that? Smiles.

Reminds me of the Sedlec Ossuary in the Czech Republic. I went a while back on the recommendation of a friend (I was asked to speak at a technical conference in Brno so we were already there). Holy cow. Sedlec Ossuary took me by surprise. 

bone-church-sedlec-ossuary-011
http://www.themadtraveleronline.com/photo-galleries/photo-gallery-the-bone-church-sedlec-ossuary/ 

Crazy fun story short: With bodies piling up from the Black Plague and so many other plagues, the church cemetary was overflowing. A half-blind monk (wish I could have met him!) made the best of a bad situation and turned the bodies into artwork. Artwork!

Walking through Sedlec Ossuary feels like all these people are dancing, combined in cool and beautiful shapes in one big body-mash of a dance. The ultimate metal mosh pit? All made by a half-blind monk. "If I ever lose my eyes..."

Blind Guardian. I love the music you're making. Beautiful. 




Artists in the Classical Sense

Apocolyptica - MUST SEE on 70,000 Tons of Metal


https://fanart.tv/artist/788ad31c-bf0c-4a31-83f8-b8b130d79c76/apocalyptica/

For those of you who are not yet Heavy Metal fans: 

If you got a kick out of 2 Cellos performing "Thunderstruck",


 you might also enjoy Apocolyptica:


When I first watched 2 Cellos perform "Thunderstruck", I wanted, needed, to hear more of their music, but I ran out of content quickly. Apocolyptica might be exactly what I need.

1. Classically trained.

2. Even their logo is artwork:

http://www.apocalyptica.com/en/

I've spent ridiculous amounts of time at the Louvre, the Pompidou (modern art museum near the Louvre), the Musee d'Orsay, the San Fran MOMA, the Guggenheim (LA) and dude, you do not to see the full list, but the Apocolyptica site blew me away. At risk of sounding like a dork, I must say:

classy, classy, classy

3. They use bodies as musical instruments in their music videos. As an artistic statement, it was like beatbox meets classical meets living art expo. Freaky brilliant.

4. Not afraid of pulling in all sorts of talent for various pieces. I'm guessing that some bands might not want to pull in extra talent because it makes touring more complicated?

List of artists below. Apocolyptica is a Finnish Metal band, so not heavy metal, but still metall-y. I'm willing to bet there is no other metal band who has played with so many distinct / discrete artists? Yes / no from those of you more familiar with bands than me?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apocalyptica


Members[edit]

Current members
Current touring member
Former members

Guest musicians[edit]

Vocalists
Instruments


If this list doesn't make you smile -- freaky big smile -- then you might need to take a break, take a deep breath, and if absolutely necessary, use your fingers at the corners of your mouth and push up, up, up. That's called a smile.

http://indulgy.com/post/cicEAvS9J1/__username__




Dorking out heavy metal style

Do other heavy metal fans do this?


With 70,000 Tons of Metal cruise coming up I've been studying the different bands.

I've found all sorts of cool things. Like:

* 1349 often starts their set by breathing fire --> get there early

* Alestorm happily played their first show only 5 days after meeting each other. FIVE DAYS.

* Alestorm self-identifies as Bacon Powered Pirate Core.

* I used 4 packs of Costco bacon for Thanksgiving and wish I had cooked more. Irrelevant, I know.

* Amorphis uses the epic Finnish poem The Kavevala as inspiration.

Want to know more about the bands? And see sources? Subscribe & see.


Listening to the Lyrics. Then Learning.

I have given more thought to my own spiritual beliefs while listening to heavy metal than I  have on any Sunday in church.

Odd, huh?

Ex: One day someone said something that could have sliced my beliefs in shreds. People have left the LDS church over far less offensive things. It came from someone wearing a Senior Missionary badge and was inextricably intertwined with gospel and my personal history.

Anger would have been an appropriate reaction, but the anger would have eaten me alive, incinerated me from the inside out. Instead, it was intensely depressing.

While sinking into depression that afternoon, I clicked on Pandora and the first song that came up was Primal Fear, Church of Blood.



My first thought: "I'm going to hell. It's official."

Despair can make a person superstitious.

But it was worse than that. I felt a self-destructive surge as I began to believe what I had been told -- I was evil from birth.

It wasn't until the end of the song that I was able to hear the lyrics. Just in time:

Oh lord, my God - consider all the words thy hands
Have made
Your son - you sent him to die
I scarce can take it in
That on the cross
My burden gladly bearing
He bled and died to save me
From my sin

Wait. That's just like a Sacrament hymn. Maybe these guys have something to say.

I hit Replay.

Then I got it:

"To use a religion - increasing the terror"

Wait. The purpose of the Senior missionary's incendiary comments had been to induce fear, terror in me.

I doubt that Christ wanted any aspect of the gospel to induce fear. I may be wrong, but realizations I had when considering what the Senior missionary said were all fear-based.

The artists, Primal Fear in all it's talent-ial awesomeness, took it one step further. They gave it historical context.

My daughter and I have been studying the conquest of South America by conquistadors and how the native people's culture was devastated by the incoming conquering nations, Spain and France mostly.

What are they fighting for
They call it holy war
So many innocent have died
... Ready to kill in the name
Of our Lord

Wow. It's not just me. Entire nations have been brought to their knees. And then decapitated.

I found my hand was on my neck, feeling the warmth and sweetness of still having my head attached to my body.


See The Mission if you want a clear visual of what it was like when nations collided and Christianity was used as a justification for murder. Your local library probably has a copy of it.



Once I saw the historical context, I was able to let go of a heapload of the pain. I no longer took it personally. Instead of threatening my ability to go to church every Sunday, now I saw a poor, twisted soul using a principle of the gospel for their own gain -- and their own gain was to induce fear which allowed them to declare superiority.

On a micro-level it was the same dynamic in action. Superiority, control, power, judgement, all justified because scripture was used to justified a point.

Full lyrics below of Primal Fear's Church of Blood below. I'll never hear this song within the walls of an LDS church building, but in my heart and mind I will hear it and be strengthened by it.

--Heavy Metal Mormon Chick


"Church Of Blood" was written by Lasch, Matthias/ Naumann-Philipp, Thomas/ Scheepers, Ralf/ Sperling, Klaus.


Steel and fire
Spreading the holy word
Dirty liars
The truth has never been heard
Are you the own who think free
Or do you share this mad insanity
To use a religion - increasing the terror
Is much more that just a human error
What are they fighting for
They call it holy war
So many innocent have died
No democracy in the church of blood
There's no democracy
Welcome to the church of blood
Pray salvation
The promised paradise
Violent nations
Who kill and terrorize
Sowing the seeds of discord
Ready to kill in the name
Of our lord
Suicide victims setting their signs
Burning the books and the tales
What are they fighting for
They call it holy war
So many innocent have died
No democracy in the church of blood
There's no democracy
Welcome to the church of blood
Oh lord, my god - consider all the words thy hands
Have made
Your son - you sent him to die
I scare can take it in
That on the cross
My burden gladly bearing
He bled and died to save me
From my sin

Heavy Metal + Mormon + Chick = a statistically improbable combo


1st - I want to record my experience with 70,000 Tons of Metal





 2nd - I want to record those ideas that float in and out of permanency, ie I forget them too quickly. Thoughts that help me understand why I go to church on Sundays, why I pray, all that good stuff.

It's all about

* understanding on a deeper level than platitudes

* remember, oh, remember what you believe

* committing to living my beliefs, yes, within the context of  headbanging, grinding, gutteral growls.

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